My son likened me to a mommy-exploding-box the other day. We were talking about how I've been releasing a lot of old somatically stored emotions in rather intense manners (i.e. crying and wailing more excessively than what is perhaps socially acceptable) and discussing why that would be.
At the start of the month I set myself a little tri-factor challenge to drink 2+ litres of water a day, do daily lymph node drainage and daily journalling - the later I had recently got out of the habit of doing and the other two had been incredibly or completely lacking my entire life. Needless to say the effects of doing these simple 3 things have been incredible with the primary response being a shit ton of emotional releasing in addition to my physical body being in such flow.
So after one of my initial overly emotional reactive moments, I chatted to the kids about how I'm clearly shifting a lot of old stuff, which is needed, and one of the reasons why we do shadow work and honour all our emotions - so they don't end up pushed down in our body to come out at a later point.
Connor loves getting analytical about all this stuff and I swear I have more conversations about dimension tripping, neuroscience, god theories and how the universe works with him many adults in my life. Anyway, he basically said - 'Obviously ... (<- my memory puts a Snape from Hogwarts tone on this that he def did not have at the time) ... it's like if you put things in a box and then just keep pushing more and more and more in there, way past the point of what it can take - at some point all the sides are going to break and everything will explode out.'
It's not a bad thing if this has to happen - in fact it's cathartic and necessary if you have previously been suppressing things. At some point, the volcano must explode to allow you to reset. What does matter is how you choose to let that happen and what you do in the aftermath if perhaps they spill out in less than ideal ways.
For me, fully embracing a good ol' crying session has been helpful, as has getting curious about what's happening and slipping into observation and frontal lobe mode about this season of releasing, embracing water cleansing, and talking it out - communicating that I'm feeling more sensitive, communicating that I'm in a moment of releasing stuff from the past as well as what's happening in the present, and from a parenting perspective - using this as an opportunity for teaching and conversation around how our bodies and brains work and why they do the things they do, and how we can do things in a more present or positive way.
There's always a reason and purpose in why we behave the way we do.
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