Here’s a fun fact. I totally forgot the recent school holidays were upon us until literally the night before they began and so I had to contend with a jam packed client schedule and project deadlines and my extremely boisterous 5 year at home for the first time by myself since I started the biz. And very quickly - all the balls I was juggling in the air … started dropping. I’m still catching up now even though he returned, thank goodness, to school this week. I love intentional time with my kids but with our current dynamic if I have to work at the same time - it does NOT work well. That old saying ‘Fail to plan - plan to fail’ is so true and it takes me back to when this wasn’t just the occasional issue but it was literally my life - all the time. I didn’t use to schedule around my menstrual cycle. I also had no awareness of how things changed from one inner season to the next. I was dismayed at the fact that my boobs and stomach weren’t at their smallest every day of my cycle or that my appetite, sleep patterns, energy and ability to sparkle adjusted - completely unaware that with hormone fluctuations, change is absolutely normal and healthy. I fluctuated with my focus and motivation around the lunar cycle and depending on where the planets were and man did I hate myself for it. I also had no idea that I was being affected - I just rained down damnation on the fact that I couldn’t be at 100% and at full throttle and be some different breed of person 24/7. I didn’t listen to what my body, mind or spirit needed at any given time. I generally just said yes, yes, yes even when it crushed me, was completely out of alignment or served no purpose in my life other than contraction. There were no accomodations made and it sucked. Things did not flow, they did not come from ease, I was very unhappy and little surprise - I wasn’t hitting any of my goals in life. I was trying to beat myself into submission and into a way of being that defied my fluctuating nature. The way I handle things is very very different now and I’m not confused and angry at myself all the time. So, when something does surprise me to bump me temporary out of flow I am always at the same time grateful for how far I’ve come with respect to this. And then I get to adjust the future so I continue to make new accomodations were required. Fair warning, next school holidays - I’m taking some time off the hustle.
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